Fifty and on the Prowl
August 2, 2011
BY CARMEN M. HUBBARD
When it comes to older women dating younger men, an American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) study says (not surprisingly) that two-thirds of American men over 40 are dating younger women. However, an unexpected 34 percent of 40-and-older women are dating younger men.
Toronto-based journalist Valerie Gibson is the author of best-selling book, “Cougar: A Guide for Older Women Dating Younger Men” and is considered the first to explore the cougar phenomenon. Gibson is a self-described cougar who is over 40 but won’t reveal just how much over.
“Society has always told us that the older woman who is still sexual isn’t supposed to exist,” said Gibson with Time. “We should be wrapped in a shawl baking cookies for our grandchildren and all that crap.”
With vitality follows sensations, desires, cravings, and urges. In other words, it’s time to feed the beast. First of all, don’t believe the hype that good sex isn’t attainable at 50. It’s still possible and will happen — if it hasn’t already. You’re not the only one who wants it and you’re not the only one who enjoys it. Like a vintage wine, good sex gets better with age — and experience.
People can have active sex lives well past age 40 and even into their 80s. A study from AARP states that three out of five people consider sexual activity a crucial part of a good relationship. Half of the women who took part in the study said a satisfying sex life is essential to the quality of life. Another study from the Center on Aging at the University of Chicago revealed people, age 50 and older, have sex out of desire instead of feeling obligated or a sense of duty to his or partner.
When it comes to reaching your sexual peak, this varies between gender, hormone level, and from one person to the next. However, a person’s sexual peak can definitely happen at 50, according to Dr. Laura Berman, a renowned sex and relationship expert with a new television show, “In The Bedroom with Dr. Laura Berman.” Her sex and intimacy tips include bedside sex kits, dancing naked, and taking charge.
One last burning question: Does menopause interfere with a woman’s sexual desire?
“The truth is, sexual desire declines naturally for both men and women as we age. But it doesn’t disappear, and your chances of achieving sexual satisfaction when you do want sex can remain completely unchanged,” Berman said.
So ladies, start your prowling!
Carmen M. Hubbard is an award-winning newspaper journalist turned freelance writer and Latin fitness instructor in Cincinnati.