LIFESTYLE Relationships  >  How to Show Your Partner He is Needed

How to Show Your Partner He is Needed

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If you are an independent woman like I am, you might have trouble with the concept of showing a man he is needed. They don’t seem to realize that most of us are as independent as we are because there is no other option. Some of have been independent for so long that we don’t know what to do when there is someone else around to rely on. That’s when it becomes a security and control issue, and not one that is easily handed over.

Recognize his skills. Before you can appreciate a man’s skills and attempt to ask him to use them in an effort to let him know he is needed, you have to find out what those skills are. You can do this by asking for assistance with simple tasks so that if he doesn’t have those skills, you aren’t about to destroy a large project just to let him know he is needed.

Recognize your own area of need. I prefer men that are very manly in the traditional sense of the word. I don’t care if he can’t arrange flowers, as long as he knows the working end of a mechanical and/or construction tool. I often test men without openly admitting it. I can’t force myself to be with someone that I am not attracted to and being traditionally masculine is the first step to even catching my attention. But these are my failings, not his. There are traditionally masculine tasks that I could force myself to ask for help on, and actually appreciate the help. It might be alright to let a man know he is needed for other things, but if you try to do that in areas that you have absolutely no need of assistance, you will find yourself in the middle of a mental battle for control.

Give attention for no reason. A large part of being needed by someone has nothing to do with being asked for help. Sometimes, you just like to know that someone needs your presence and attention. Try calling him or asking him over for absolutely no reason at all. This lets him know that he isn’t just the guy you want around for a handy many, but that you are genuinely interested in his company and attention.

Offer thanks. Don’t be afraid to show some appreciation. Just saying “thanks” is a great start, but he is really going to like it if you go above and beyond that. For instance, while in front of him and with your friends, you might mention something he has done. This lets him know you appreciate him, and appreciation is the first step to needing someone. It also gives him a chance to puff out his chest a bit. Gratitude in any form also helps you to take a moment to have some real appreciation for people and life in general.

Ask for help even if you don’t need it. I don’t know about you, but I like it when people come to me with a question just because I am well-versed in the material. They can find the answer somewhere else, but they come to me. That makes me feel good. Men are no different. Go to him when you want an opinion on something he is well versed in. This even works with fathers. I call mine on a regular basis to double check my knowledge and to let him know that he is needed.

Kathy Foust is a freelance writer with a penchant for defining the reason behind the behavior of self and society in general.



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