Parenting as an Older Adult
September 20, 2011
BY GAYLE THOMPSON
It was only a generation ago that if someone old enough to have an AARP card was waiting in the school carpool line, it was almost certainly a grandparent picking up the child. But now, as adults wait longer and longer to have children, seeing middle-aged Americans with young children in tow is becoming more and more common – and experts say this might be a good thing.
Associate Professor of Family and Consumer Sciences at Ohio State University, Nancy Recker, cites four major reasons why it’s more advantageous to have children as older adults: career establishment, more sensitive during playtime with children, increased patience and understanding, and financial stability. While younger parents may have more energy, she counters, it’s important to note that becoming a parent is an exhausting task regardless of the person’s age.
Child psychologist Dr. Vicky Panaccione from the Better Parenting Institute agrees that there are numerous benefits to waiting until later in life to become parents. “Many young parents feel that children actually end up being a burden, and keep them from ‘having fun,’ she notes. “However, older parents have had a chance to have gone through many of the earlier phases of life, such as clubbing, traveling extensively and being spontaneous. They tend to be more ready to settle down and focus their attention on the enjoyment of being parents and not feeling they are ‘missing out’ on other experiences. This doesn’t mean that older parents don’t have any fun! It does mean that their lives tend to be richer, and their experiences with each other, their children and life in general have deeper meaning and appreciation.”
She also cites an increase in stable managers and a larger bank account as further reasons to wait to have children until later in life. “Older parents tend to be more financially stable and secure in their careers, and have completed their education,” she continues. “This tends to mean less conflict regarding how to parcel out time, not having to juggle school, family and job. They also may be able to retire earlier, or be more flexible in their established work situation, affording them the opportunity to spend more time with their children.”
While certainly some may argue that the best time to become parents is before the age of 35, the trend is definitely shifting towards waiting until later in life to bring a child into the world. According to a 2010 study posted by the Washington Post, the number of births to women over the age of 35 accounts for 14 percent of total births, or one in seven babies. That number is a sharp jump from even 20 years ago, when only nine percent of births occurred to women past their mid-30’s.
Regardless of the age when a woman decides to conceive – or the age of her partner – the role of becoming a parent is both a rewarding and a demanding task that requires plenty of planning and preparations.
Resources: http://ohioline.osu.edu/hyg-fact/5000/pdf/Older_Parents.pdf,
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/05/06/AR2010050600008.html