Some Advice for Working a Good Time
October 23, 2009
For an over-weight, middle-aged Jewish woman with a desk job, I have entirely too much fun. I just did something fabulous, and I’d like to tell you how.
I ran the bar for Pines Party 2009 – a major gay circuit party. Over 2000 people, mostly shirtless guys, dancing on the beach for 8 hours. One hundred twenty-three staff, paid and volunteer, in 3 shifts. I don’t sleep for 26 hours.
This year’s adventure including listening to grown men cry, threatening the party planner
(who had just arrived from the Staples Center in L.A. where he designed Michael Jackson’s bier) with a drill gun, and hand picking a beautiful blond boy bartender for a $30,000.00 donor’s private tent. What a blast!
There is absolutely nothing fabulous about me, sad to say. I excel at nothing and I have no discernable talents. I most certainly don’t look like someone who swims nude in the morning along a beautiful beaches and is a favorite pet of some of the world’s most gorgeous men. I would never cast me as me.
The only thing I really have going for me is a drive to have a great time. I have always wanted fun the way Donald Trump wanted money. I want to be on the right side of the velvet rope, and did not have any way of getting there.
So how can an over-weight, middle-aged Jewish woman with a desk job get herself across the velvet divide? Work it! The trick to getting in there is to offer a service to any organization that puts on a hot party. No joke. They all need something. Usually a boring, unglamorous, tedious task that is sometimes even physically unpleasant. (Like, say, hauling a ton of ice across sand.) Do it. Start somewhere.
My first job for Pines Party years ago was as a security volunteer. I was the muscle on the DJ booth. It was the year that the party took place in a hurricane. I stood there, soaking wet, for 5 hours, telling poor boys they could not go talk to the DJ.
“But he just signaled me from the booth!”
“No.”
“But he’s my best friend.”
“The DJ has no friends.”
“He’s my cousin.”
“He has no relatives.”
“He’s my boyfriend.”
“Not tonight.”
Not the greatest gig – but now one of the hottest DJ & lighting designers on the circuit is my good buddy, and I get in anywhere.
Next I moved up to assisting a complete lunatic run the bar. If you are reading this blog, you are over 50 and probably not surprised at how often complete lunatics get power. One of the mysteries of life, and an opening for sane people. Everyone who got sick of dealing with him, loved dealing with me. Since I managed to control my urge to murder him and was not in prison, I got to run the bar thereafter.
I’m not saying it isn’t grueling, but it is how to become involved with interesting things. It’s one of the best ways to put life in your life.