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Loving Yourself This Valentine’s Day

Loving Yourself This Valentine’s Day, Valentine's Day in middle age, Valentine's Day after 50
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We thought that this was a great article to rerun on this Valentines day.  Enjoy!


It is possible, by choice or circumstance, you, like me, may find yourself alone with no lover this Valentine’s Day. I don’t plan to let that stop me from experiencing a day of love. In my case, it is the most important love of all … self-love. Here’s some things I plan to do:

Start the day with prayer: Before you open you eyes, say a prayer to whatever deity you choose asking that you have a wonderful day and are able to help others have one as well. Ask for strength, compassion, humor and joy to surround you and be expressed through you.

Stretch: Take a long, spine-lengthening stretch and revel in your ability to move as well as you do. If a shower is all you have time for, indulge in a LUSH shower smoothie, scented with banana or roses and inhale deeply as you wash. Or use miniature products you have saved from past visits to your favorite hotel (the ones you usually save for guests) and have your thickest towel and softest robe heating in the dryer. Slather yourself in that sinful body lotion you have leftover from your time with your last lover (unless it will make you sad, and if so, throw it out!)

Lay back down: While letting the moisturizer sink in, head back to bed and spend time playing with your own body. Close your eyes and fantasize. This Valentine’s Day your lover can be anyone from George Clooney to Queen Latifah. Only you need to know. Starting the day with an orgasm is a great way to set a sensual tone for the entire day.

Take time getting dressed: Do as good a job with your makeup as though you had a date. You do .. with yourself. You will feel better if you know you look good. Wear that silky underwear that makes you clothes slide over your skin and real silk stockings if you’ve got them. Dab that expensive perfume behind your ears and wear your real jewelry. While dressing, say some affirmations to yourself in the mirror. Here are some suggestions:

I am worthy of love and attention.

I am beautiful inside and out (be specific here. I have gorgeous eyes. My skin glows. I have a graceful neck. I am ageing well.)

My talent will show.

The people I need in my life will be attracted to me.

Good things are coming my way.

Smile at yourself: Until the smile shows in your eyes. Take a moment to breathe and realize that, for this moment, all is well.

Eat a decadent breakfast: This is no time to diet. I am going for heart-shaped chocolate donuts and a full mocha collate–with real whipped cream.

Have flowers sent to yourself: Cop to the fact that you sent them. Enclose a message to remind you to love yourself. Mine will say “Enjoy.”

Make a playlist of your favorite music: Listen to it all day. Pachbel’s Canon will lead mine off.

Take yourself to lunch: Somewhere nice. Do not order only salad. Escargot and lobster are two good choices.

Fit in a massage: An after-work massage, especially one including aromatherapy is a great intro to a lovely evening.

Eat dinner in: Don’t pay the ridiculous prices restaurants charge on this night just to see all the couples mandatorily mooning over each other. Stop at Whole Foods to pick up some of their outrageous prepared foods (fresh salmon with capers, artichoke hearts in virgin olive oil and macaroni and cheese with truffles are delicious choices.) Don’t forget a good bottle of wine. Lay out real linen and candles, even to eat alone, and do not skimp on dessert. Triple fudge cake or macadamia nut tarts and a glass of cognac are deserved. To keep the good times going, order some of the world’s best chocolates online at Norman Love Chocolates. The white chocolate truffles will make every day a holiday.

Spread the vibe: If you can’t get off the phone with your family or friends once you make a call, send a quick email telling your mom, your sister, your best friend or whomever you love that you love them. That is what Valentine’s Day really is about. Don’t forget to give your dog or cat an extra ear scratch or head rub for loving you all the time, even when you are unlovable.

Watch a wonderful movie: Whether you enjoy an old MGM musical or a modern romantic comedy, order one up and put on your most comfortable jamies. Treat yourself to a face mask and a hair conditioning treatment while you watch.

Take a bath: Save time for a candlelit bath (accompanies by that last glass of wine) scented with lavender for relaxation or a few drops of any essential oil you enjoy. (I like geranium). As you soak, let your thoughts drift not to past Valentine’s Days, but to this one just spent. Note what a great day you had and then note how you deserved it. Pour a little oil in the water just before you get out to seal in your skin’s moisture.

Enjoy a cup of herb tea: Or even warm milk with a spot of honey like on your last trip to Italy. Light a scented candle in your bedroom to create the perfect atmosphere.

Climb into clean sheets: Put your highest thread count sheets on your bed (ironed if you are like me and adore crisp sheets.) Scent them softly with perfume or oil. Turn on your electric blanket to preheat the bed or use an old-fashioned hot water bottle (they even come in heart shapes). Sleep well and here’s hoping you enjoy some erotic dreams. Happy Valentine’s Day.




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