My Legacy
October 30, 2009
When I turned 40, my mother in law said I was reaching the ‘ 4th floor’ and she was on the ‘6th floor.’ I thought it was a cute metaphor.
I was reaching a milestone at 40 but the experience was melancholy looking back at all I had accomplished and what still remained to be done. I had 2 kids, a great husband, an MBA, and 20 years of solid business experience. I thought I had done pretty well for myself, for someone who grew up on welfare and saw her mom struggle week to week to make ends meet.
So where do I see myself when I reach the ‘5th floor?’ I’m finding it a bit difficult climbing those stairs. It’s not easy being a parent and knowing I have a very tough job on my hands raising my kids to be the individuals I want them to be. I can only hope that by the time I turn 50 I will have gained more wisdom to pass down to my children. That is our most important accomplishment, isn’t it? To leave behind a legacy of responsible children who learn the importance of laughter, integrity, working hard, and respect. So often I look around me and wonder how many people look back and wonder what legacy they are starting to leave behind. I am not saying it’s the beginning of the end, but I do think climbing to the 5th floor is yet another time for reflection.
Today we see all sorts of ugly things happening. People have become so divided over politics and religion they have forgotten what respect is all about. They have forgotten that children are watching, that we are supposed to be progressing as a country and as a people. I watch how people express their dislikes and I wonder ‘Where has the decency gone?‘ Whatever happened to civility and knowing that in life we have to agree to disagree? Whatever happened to arguing a cause with facts and intelligence? I had a 7 year old tell me the other day he hated President Obama. “He stinks” were his exact words. Some people may find this funny but I found it incredibly sad. Here is a little boy whose mind was already being filled with ugly things about an individual that a 7 year old knows nothing about or at least not enough to reach a reasonable conclusion at his age. This same 7 year old told me, he wasn’t going to school the day the President was giving his speech because his mom didn’t want him to hear him speak. Once again I thought how incredibly sad that was.
Regardless of our beliefs, the one thing we should never do is impose those beliefs on our children. Their minds should not be molded to hate, be biased, or even dislike. Children should be nurtured, encouraged and learn through understanding, knowledge, and example. Kids are taught to hate and judge others and yet we wonder why we still live in a divided country after so many years.
I know a few teachers who were instructed by parents not to allow their children to watch the President speak. How sad that these children were pulled away from their friends and didn’t know why. Many thought they were being punished. Their parents simply told them they didn’t want them to see the President speak. Others used not so nice language. It only left one outcome; the kids that were not allowed to watch were the ones that were hurt, confused and made fun of by other kids at school.
It’s disturbing to see what is going on, but I take comfort in knowing that I am not raising my kids to be a part of ignorance. I am raising them to be wise, to think for themselves, not to hate, and to be open minded towards people with different opinions. At forty I had 2 kids and I felt okay that I was beginning to leave that legacy behind. When I turn 50 I will have had 3 kids. My hope is that I have done a good job in molding my kids to be admirable and respectful individuals. And as I reach each floor my hope is that the wisdom expands with each step and that I see my children as the responsible beings I hope they become. What legacy are you starting to leave behind?