Sex Addiction
April 26, 2010
If you can believe what you read in the NY Post, Tiger Woods, Jesse James, and a former Mets manager all have come down with a dreaded disease – sex addiction. I’m sure Arnold Schwarzenegger will join this parade very soon also. This affliction is a relatively new phenomenon, or at least it seems that way since we didn’t hear about it too much until the last few years when Michael Douglas started the ball rolling. Based on what I’ve read, it’s apparently more prevalent in the male species and appears to be diagnosed only after the National Enquirer or In Touch magazine does an article about you. Because of all the publicity, I decided I should look into this epidemic, if not for the health implications (after all I have 5 brothers and I might need to warn them) but, at the very least, as an excuse for infidelity should I ever need one.
Sex addiction is defined in Wikipedia (an excellent source for knowledge about everything) as a phenomenon in which individuals report being unable to manage their sexual behavior. I’ll say! Sexologists have not reached any consensus whether sex addiction really exists or how to describe it. Some experts believe that it is literally an addiction like drugs and alcohol; others believe it is a form of obsessive compulsive disorder. Still other experts believe sex addiction is a myth, a bi-product of cultural and other influences. In order to fully understand this, let’s take a look at all three trains of thought.
First explanation – sex addiction is literally an addiction like drugs and alcohol. This would mean that you just couldn’t stop having sex no matter how bad it was for you. I have to say that this explanation might have some merit considering some of the women that the aforementioned celebrities have been linked to. Let’s face it; you would have to be an addict in order to want to be with that scary ‘Bombshell McGee’ or the waitress from the pancake house Tiger supposedly did. The description of not being able to stop even though it was bad for you would also explain why some men or women would run the risk of ruining marriages with lovely spouses for a quick roll in the hay, the backseat of a car, a church parking lot, the bathroom of an Applebee’s, etc. If sex addiction is a true addiction, just think of the possibilities of the next Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew Pinsky! I wonder if either Jeff Conaway or Tom Sizemore is also addicted to sex.
Second explanation – sex addiction is a form of obsessive compulsive disorder. I guess this would be kind of like hoarding, only you might describe this compulsion as ‘whoring.’ This explanation would indicate that sex addiction is a psychological problem. Obsession occurs when people cannot help themselves from thinking a particular thought i.e. having sex. Because their minds are so pre-occupied with these thoughts, other aspects of their lives suffer. I would have to say that this explanation doesn’t hold water if you look at the people we mentioned above. Tiger still played a mean round of golf, Jesse James still built motorcycles and the guy from ESPN still was able to discuss the latest sports results all the while continuing to have sex with as many women as they could get their hands on. Certainly their careers didn’t suffer.
Third explanation – sex addiction is a myth and the behavior is a bi-product of cultural and other influences. I would have to say that, of the three, this explanation seems like the most plausible to me. It would also explain why you don’t seem to hear about a lot of poor people claiming to be sex addicts. The cultural influences mentioned in this scenario would seem to be money, fame and what comes with them. The other influences could be Michael Jordon and Charles Barkley if we look at Tiger’s situation. Money and fame in the culture we are living in these days seem to give certain people the idea that if they have these things, they can behave in any manner they want and hurt whoever they want because they are special. Money and fame also brings out some of the worst behavior in people who don’t have these things because many will do anything to be close to those who do. Hence the number of women who willingly performed all sorts of sex acts with Tiger, even though he ‘ain’t all that.’ The second cultural influence that affects this situation is the inability of anyone today to take responsibility for their actions. If you can explain that you behaved a certain way because you are ‘addicted to sex’, then it can’t be that you are just a lowlife and heel. How convenient! A third cultural influence comes into play when the ‘sex addict’ apologizes to those they hurt. In our culture, as long as you apologize, everything should be considered okay again. Apparently being a ‘sex addict’ means always having to say you’re sorry.
The conclusion I’ve come to with my research on sex addiction is this – I’m not buying it. There are some common sense things to remember and if people do, we can go back to just drinking alcohol and shooting up drugs for our addictions. If you don’t want to be loyal to your wife or husband, don’t get married. If you don’t want your children to find out about all your odd sexual proclivities, for god sake do not send texts about them to imperfect strangers so they can save them for future Star magazine payoffs. Think with the head above your shoulders, not the one below it. If you do think with the head below and you get caught, don’t try to pawn it off on some made up ‘addiction.’ If more people (i.e. men) did this, the NY Post might actually have to report real news. What a concept!