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Safe Sex for Lesbians

Safe Sex for Lesbians
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By Doris Anderson

As a vibrant lesbian in my autumn years, I am committed to helping my sisters have hot, fun and wild sex.

And honestly, the single biggest challenge to having sex is finding someone to do it with, and do it with SAFELY.

And I mean safe in all ways: emotionally, physically and especially safe from folks who say itai??i??s not all what itai??i??s cracked up to be.

I have noticed amongst my peers that there seems to be two distinct camps of women: those who like to have sex a LOT and those who can take it or leave it.

For example, I canai??i??t tell you how many times Iai??i??ve been casually chatting with a woman and when the topic of sex comes up and they roll their eyes, sighing with disgust over the fact that their girlfriend wants to have sex ai???all the time.ai???

Unless their girlfriend is a sex addict, she probably doesnai??i??t want to have sex ai???all the time.ai??? Just every day.Ai??Though not always logistically possible, could someone please tell me what on earth is wrong with having sex every day??

Then, there are those sisters who frequently brandish the statement, ai???Iai??i??m not in the mood.ai??? What on earth do you mean youai??i??re not in the mood?Ai??Did you just fail your dissertation defense?Ai??Did you loose your wallet a week ago and just realize it now?Ai??Did you just see a giant Burmese Python asphyxiate a wild piglet at the zoo?

How much of a ai???moodai??? do you have to be in to make somebody you love feel good?

Frankly, Iai??i??ve had it.Ai??I donai??i??t ever want to hear someone say to me they arenai??i??t in the mood again unless theyai??i??ve just come out of surgery from donating a kidney.

Another sign that someone isnai??i??t big on sex is if they are frequently ai???too tiredai??? and/or often ai???donai??i??t have time.ai???Ai??True they may be tired, but wouldnai??i??t getting some bush when they are bushed be a nice pick-me-up?Ai??And regarding the folks who ai???donai??i??t have timeai??? what they really donai??i??t have is a fun-loving personality to embrace a quickie.

So to all of those eye-rolling, moody, tired, and time-crunched lesbians, PLEASE note, there is no need for excuses.Ai??It is perfectly OK if you are someone who is not interested in sex for any reason or no reason.Ai??There are plenty of lovely, brilliant and fun women you can date who want to play Boggle, write poetry or watch TV while they are NOT having sex with you.Ai?? If you donai??i??t enjoy sex, thereai??i??s no need to have a girlfriend who has the *hotts* for you.

Which brings me to a radical, conscious-raising, safe-sex concept: Lesbians who want to have sex need to hook up with lesbians who want to have sex.

This idea may not necessarily be pertinent to a one-night stand, but it is definitely helpful if you are dating and most especially needs to be ironed out before you exclusively date someone or commit to a monogamous relationship!

Communication is key! If someone says they like to have sex, and look genuinely excited about it, ask a deeper question:Ai?? How often do you like to have sex?

Make no mistake, I am not dismissing the level of quality of a sexual act, but you canai??i??t put the cart before the horse.Ai??You have to actually do it in order to assess the quality.Ai??And if you pair someone who likes sex three times a week with someone who likes it once every three months, well, youai??i??re going to have two unhappy lesbians and I can already tell you what the quality of their sex life is going to be like.

Communication is key!Ai?? Iai??i??m sure many of you are aware of the term ai???flagging.ai??? This was popularized by gay male bar scene in the 1970ai??i??s ai??i?? hanging a particular colored bandanna out of the right or left back pants pocket to indicate a specific type of sex they are seeking.

I would like to strongly suggest a new system of flagging for the lesbian community. Those of us interested in sex should all wear, for example, tasteful pins on our lapels when socializing to communicate our frequency of desire ai??i?? Bars of Service if you will.Ai?? Much like how our cell phones indicate bars of service to signify the amount of reception that is available in a certain area from their provider.

Letai??i??s say one Bar means you are generally crabby and you have to be ai???in just the right moodai??? to do it.

Two Bars mean you are sometimes irritable but, on a rare occasion, can be ai???put in the right mood.ai???

Three Bars mean you have the average lesbian sex drive, which is what exactly?Ai??Letai??i??s just say for the sake of argument the ai???averageai??? is being perfectly happy to have sex once a week.

Four Bars mean you are frisky!Ai??You never whine when sex is suggested and have a ai???letai??i??s DO IT!ai??? attitude.

Five Bars mean youai??i??re a Sex Positive Machine.Ai??Even in the face of food poisoning, youai??i??re willing to swill down Pepto-Bismol and give some hanky-panky a shot.Ai??(Please note, a S.P.M. is not to be confused with someone who is a sexual predator, sex addict or stalker.)

We can also get into endless details, for example, the color of Bars of Service can communicate important information like, ai???I only like to have a lot of sex when I am as drunk as a skunk.ai???Ai??Or, ai???I like to have sex infrequently with Stone Butches, but will consider a ai???Soft Butch.ai??i??ai???Ai??Or, ai???I only like to have one-night-stands, and enjoy performing sex up to five times within a 90-minute time slot.ai???

I say itai??i??s always good to know what youai??i??re getting into as no one likes to be set up for disappointment. Imagine how you would feel waiting all day to go the Country Buffet and saving room for dessert only to find out all the Cool Whip Chiffon was gone?

Lesbians, thereai??i??s nothing wrong with having a high, medium, low or no sex drive ai??i?? itai??i??s a matter of a finding a safe-sex or no-sex match.

And whatever your sex drive might be, remember thereai??i??s never too much of a good thing.

 

 

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